If I asked you right now what you’re scared of, what would you say?
Aside from the usual clowns, heights, and spiders, I’d bet you’d answer something close to I don’t really have anything that scares me.
But the truth is, we all have fears deep down inside.
And sometimes these fears don’t surface as your typical Scary Movie chasing you down the road fears.
Instead, they surface in the form of procrastination, indecision, overwhelm, and panic, just to name a few.
After finishing Napoleon Hill’s Think & Grow Rich, one of the many takeaways that I came out with is the fact that most of us face six common fears.
And these bad boys are so deeply engrained in our DNA that it literally causes us to freeze up and panic without us ever realizing it.
I didn’t notice I was such a scaredy cat until I started seeing that I kept falling into the same patterns.
Specifically, I was:
- Procrastinating like crazy
- Indecisive and always unsure of my best option
- Suffering from analysis paralysis (I had all the info to make things better but I was too frozen to actually take action)
- In a constant state of doubt
- Super self-conscious
These became red flags that something scared the shit out of me. And it was so bad that it was far easier to not take any action then to show up each day and do something that made me a little uncomfy.
So I took the easy path. The path of least resistance as they say.
And instead of growing, I stayed stagnant and didn’t make any progress. You may have noticed that with this blog going back to dormancy for a few weeks again.
But I can say for certain that I learned a lot during this time, so it’s safe to say a different kind of progress was made. I learned so much more about these six fears that hold most of us back. And I’m here to share what I uncovered in the hopes that it helps you see that fear may be holding you back too.
6 Fears Holding Most of Us Back
Napoleon Hill appropriately calls these, and the chapter in his book: The Six Ghosts of Fear.
According to Hill, the six basic fears are:
- The fear of poverty
- The fear of criticism
- The fear of ill health
- The fear of loss of love of someone
- The fear of old age
- The fear of death
Napoleon believed that the first three fears are the underlying cause of most of our worries in life and I would emphasize that the first two happen more often that most of us realize.
Because of this, I’m going to focus our short time today on the first two fears only. If you’re curious to learn more about the rest, shoot me an email and I’ll dive deeper into them in a Part 2 post.
I encourage you to read both of these fears even if you don’t think they relate to you. I think you’d be surprised to see what you’ll find.
The Fear of Poverty
Napoleon calls this the most destructive fear.
He specifically says, “This fear paralyzes the faculty of reason, destroys the faculty of imagination, kills off self-reliance, undermines enthusiasm, discourages initiative, leads to uncertainty of purpose, encourages procrastination, wipes out enthusiasm and makes self-control an impossibility.”
Can you say check, check, and check?
This fear destroys enthusiasm to the point that he mentioned it twice. It’s that serious.
Napoleon also points out that it’s the most difficult fear for us to master which is probably why so many of us can relate to those awful feelings I just mentioned.
Here are a few symptoms that stem from the fear of poverty:
- Indifference: Are you lacking ambition right now? Is it hard to get up and feel motivated each morning? Are you willing to accept and even tolerate whatever pay life throws at you, even if it’s far too low for you to live on? Are you struggling with self-control? How about enthusiasm?
- Doubt: Are you constantly coming up with excuses to cover up why you didn’t do something? Do you apologize profusely when you mess things up? Are you envious of those who are doing well around you? Do you often criticize successful people?
- Indecision: Do you rely on others to make decisions for you? Are you often “on the fence” about things as Napoleon puts it?
- Worry: Do you seem to notice the fault in others and quickly decide that you don’t want anything to do with them? Do you spend beyond your means? Are you turning to alcohol or drugs in order to avoid what’s stressing you out right now?
- Procrastination: Are you constantly putting things off when you know you should be doing them? Does this cause you to think about these items even when you’re trying to relax instead? Are you creating excuses for why it’s okay to put things off instead of just doing them? Are you filled with doubt or worry right now?
- Over-caution: Do you tend to notice the negative sides in situations? Are you searching for the “right time” to get started? Are you pessimistic?
Can you relate to any of these? I know I could to over half at one point and I still struggle with keeping these fears under control. I’ll show you exactly how to do this towards the end of this article.
The Fear of Criticism
We’re all human here so let’s all admit that this one is one we all battle with. Every. Single. Day.
Most of us are concerned about how we look, how we’ll be perceived, and what others will think of our every move.
The problem is, this freezes us up. Instead of wearing what we want or finding jobs that actually fulfill us, we hide in our shells like cute little turtles. Except it’s not as cute for us.
We spend so much time on this shit that it makes us nervous and uneasy for no good reason.
According to Hill, these are the symptoms to watch out for:
- Self-consciousness: Are you worried what people will think? Do you find yourself analyzing previous conversations and wondering if you said or did the wrong thing? Do you feel a bit awkward around new people?
- Lack of initiative: Do you let opportunities and promotions pass by because you’re worried that you’re not good enough? Are you confident in your own ideas? Are you scared to express your true opinions?
- Extravagance: Are you trying to keep up with the Joneses as they say? Do you live paycheck to paycheck and spend every dime each time?
- Lack of ambition: Are you physically and mentally lazy? Does it take you forever to reach a decision? Are you easily influenced by others? Are you quick to criticize others when they’re not around?
How to Tackle These Two Jerks
First, you have to shift your mindset. I know it may seem fluffy and rainbow sprinkles happy but it really is true.
You have to acknowledge when these negative symptoms pop up and decide at that moment that you are not going to succumb to them like a victim.
Instead, you are going to take action. Like right now. And this starts with shifting your thoughts and your overall outlook.
Now, before you get overwhelmed by the amount of steps that need to be taken, I want you to focus on the smallest step you can possibly imagine.
One that’s so tiny, you can’t help but accomplish it.
When you tackle this, it creates momentum. More importantly, a positive momentum that gets the ball rolling. As this happens, you’re more likely to keep going.
If you’re not feeling motivated when you wake up, I encourage you to get out of bed right away and make your bed with the intention that you’re not getting back in there until nighttime.
After that, hop in the shower or go to the gym instead of sitting on the couch and turning on the TV.
Get all dressed up in your favorite outfit. One that flatters you.
While these steps seem tiny and insignificant, they can help shift your mindset and help you feel better too.
See, most of us like to do the opposite and lounge around in our PJs for too long, check social media for more than thirty minutes, and we just zone out. Instead of facing these fears head on, we dive into things that require little to no mental thinking and before we know it two hours have flown by.
Whenever you see these symptoms crop up, it’s important to acknowledge them for what they really are: fears. And admit that you’re scared. It’s okay.
From here, think about the worst case scenario. The absolute, I’d just die from embarrassment outcome.
Would you be out a certain amount of money? Would your reputation be at stake? What would you think of yourself if this happened? Do you have a Plan B if this doesn’t work? What is it?
Feel those emotions and stick with them. But not for too long. At some point sooner rather than later, you need to decide what the first baby step is to take and then you need to take it starting immediately.
The longer you put it off, the easier it is to keep doing so.
Set a timer for 5 minutes if you’re really struggling here.
Most of the time, you’ll end up taking action for longer than the 5 minutes without even realizing it and you’ll have built up enough steam to power through.
The key takeaway is to just take action. Make some sort of progress and you’ll be in good shape.
Whatever you do, don’t let fear stop you in your tracks. And be honest about what really scares you. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the same position in a week, month or year from now.
Next week’s post is on procrastination (why we do it and how to break the cycle), so if that’s something you’re struggling with be sure to keep an eye out for that.