In the first post of this three part series, we talked about why we procrastinate, the different types of procrastinators, and a simple trick to combat procrastination and those times when we’re feeling unmotivated. If you haven’t checked out that article yet, you’ll want to head over here first.
As we move along, we’re going to dive in deeper to talk about how to actually get over this crap once and for all. That’s what today’s post will focus on.
Full disclosure: I’m not a procrastination solving expert. I still struggle with it personally. But I’ve come a lonnnnngg way. This is also why I’ll be sharing my favorite tips from Dr. Monica Ramirez Basco’s book The Procrastinator’s Guide to Getting Things Done
Again, I encourage you to read the book if these points hit super close to home. She has a Ph.D and can explain this important information far better than I ever could.
With that out of the way, let’s get started.
Why Fear is Causing You to Procrastinate
As Dr. Ramirez Basco puts it so perfectly, “Fear can take many forms. Emotionally, fear can feel like anxiety, stress, mistrust, worry, discomfort, nervousness, concern, apprehension, and even paranoia.”
She also mentions that you’ll see physical signs such as, “muscle tension, headaches, stomach aches, chest pain, heart palpitations, excessive sweating, dizziness, nausea, skin rashes, trembling, shaking, ringing in the ears, and many other uncomfortable sensations.”
Can you relate to any of that?
I’d almost bet that you could based on the fact that so many readers reached out saying they related to the fear article I posted a few weeks ago (thank you again for the kind words!)
The problem with fear is that it causes most of us to procrastinate. We freeze up, imagine a ton of worst-case scenario what-ifs (all of which never actually pan out), and eventually do nothing.
We then shove these issues to the backburner until we feel ready to tackle such big obstacles. As we talked about last week, that right moment and perfect feeling is only going to surface once you get started. Not before.
And that’s the biggest issue most of us deal with: getting started and mustering up the courage to pick ourselves up after the 1000th time of being knocked down.
But the thing is, when we let our thoughts race, we’re actually letting go of the wheel and subsequently control. And we’re handing it over to our fears.
When we do this, the situation snowballs pretty damn fast. And eventually it consumes everything we think about and do. It becomes a nasty cycle and makes it even harder for us to take action.
To combat this, you have to start becoming aware of when you are procrastinating so you can understand why it’s happening.
How can you tell if fear is getting in the way?
Dr. Ramirez Basco mentions:
- “Thinking about the task makes you feel uncomfortable”
- “You worry a lot about how it will turn out”
- “You hesitate to get started for fear you’ll mess up”
- “You wonder if you can handle it”
- “When you try to do it, you feel tense, your heart races, or you start to feel hot”
- “You think people will criticize, reject, or laugh at you.”
She continues on to stay that procrastination is a combination of two things:
- “Your belief that taking action now will be unpleasant in some way”
- “Your emotions, the feelings that get you stirred up inside when you think of taking action on something you would rather not do”
Can you relate to that or what? I know I can.
If you’re a visual person like me, use these formulas as a guide, courtesy of Dr. Ramirez Basco of course:
“Your negative thoughts + Your emotional reactions -> Procrastination.”
Here’s how she says that plays out:
—> “I don’t know what to do” + Anxiety = Procrastination
—> “I can’t deal with this right now” + Fatigue = Procrastination
—> “I hate having to do things like this” + Irritation = Procrastination
—>”This is going to be so messed up” + Dread = Procrastination
*inserts raising hand emoji girl*
Once you identify what’s really going on, then you can tackle the root of the problem: what you’re really scared of.
From there, identify the smallest and least painful step you can take and get started. I cannot stress this enough. Just. Get. Moving.
You cannot keep freezing up because you’re scared.
Newsflash: we’re all scared and we’re trying not to let anyone know. Now that the secret’s out, it’s time to move on.
Speaking of…
How to Get Past Hurt Feelings
As tough as I thought I was, I learned the hard way that I made it very difficult to get over hurt feelings.
Instead of confronting the hurt head on, I was notorious for venting my frustrations to everyone but the person I needed to speak with.
I’d tell myself that I hated confrontation but the truth was I was just a scaredy cat. I didn’t want to confront the real issue so I hid behind my circle of friends and support.
But no one wants to hear you complaining all the time. What fun is that?
It also attracts negative energy which is just not worth it.
To combat this, you need to stop feeding your hurt feelings.
No more justifying why you’re right with your friends and family, no more retelling the story internally and externally, and no more spending time on how someone hurt you 10 years ago or even two weeks ago.
One of my favorite ways—but also a somewhat painful one to implement—to get over hurt feelings is to take accountability for your role in the issue.
I learned this trick in Brian Tracy’s No Excuses!
You’d be surprised what you uncover. Many times, both parties are in the wrong. And the sooner you can see that, the sooner both of you can come to terms with reality. You’re both going to see things differently.
We all bring emotional baggage, everyday stresses, and past traumas to the table yet most of us don’t ever realize how this affects our perspective on things.
The point is, get over whatever you’ve been holding on to.
Let that weight fall off your tense shoulders and come to terms with the fact that you probably did something too. It’s time to get over it.
Stop imagining those worst case scenarios that never pan out. Don’t give into your imagination. Things are never as bad as your mind makes it out to be.
Keep in mind, the more time you give these imaginary situations, the more you procrastinate. In this next section, we’ll go over how to move past this crap.
Tips for Setting Priorities and Avoiding Distractions
I’ve become addicted to index cards.
Every morning and after each day, I write out what needs to be done the next day on one and I repeat the process.
I essentially brain dump what’s on my mind.
Once that’s done, I prioritize what needs to be done using an ABCD system.
Again, this tip came from Brian Tracy’s No Excuses!
Your four most important tasks receive the letter A followed by a number ranging from 1-4. One means you need to tackle this right away, or you may face some consequences.
Your next four important tasks will receive a B and a number (1-4) and you’ll repeat this process until your brain dump is prioritized.
The idea is to only work on your to-do list in this order (A1, A2, A3, A4, B1, B2…). You can’t start a B task until all of your As are done. The same goes for C tasks (all Bs must be finished first).
Your A tasks are time sensitive and deadline driven; they must be done today. Your other tasks fall under the it would be nice to tackle these if I have extra time category.
Your A tasks should also be the ones that you’re more likely to put off despite the fact that you need to get them done. This is where your fears will surface so it’s important to pay attention here. Don’t skip to your easy B tasks just to avoid the As.
Once you decide on your A1 task, take action right away.
Put the phone down. Log off of Facebook. And just get going.
Focus all of your attention on getting your A1 task done. Do whatever it takes (within reason) to get the job done and don’t stop until you do.
Because once you do, you’ll feel unstoppable.
When these harder tasks are tackled first, especially when our energy stores are high, you’ll start a momentum that lights a fire and helps you get sh*t done.
On the flipside, when we try to knock out a bunch of easy and meaningless tasks first, we waste all of our energy bouncing from task to task. By the time we’re done, we don’t even want to think about that uncomfortable task weighing heavily on our to-do list.
So you have to discipline yourself to knock these A1, A2, A3 and A4 tasks first and foremost. And you have to do these with your undivided attention.
This is a great area to use that timer method I mentioned in the first post of this series.
Another issue holding us back is that we’re too scared we’re going to mess up and look like an idiot.
Again, I’m just as guilty. Let’s learn to change that.
How to Confront Your Fear of Making a Mistake
As Dr. Ramirez Basco mentions, this stems from self-doubt.
Internally, we say the most hurtful things. Sometimes things we would never tell someone else yet we can’t seem to stop when it comes to us.
We use self-doubt as a reason for why we can’t get things done. But, of course, we can’t admit that, so instead, we say things like:
- “I can’t do it; I can’t handle it”
- “It’s going to be too hard”
- “I don’t know what to do”
- “I’m going to mess it up”
- “It’s not going to work”
- “It will put me in a bad mood”
- “I can’t do it by myself”
- “I’m too tired”
- “I’m not smart enough” (or old/pretty/outgoing/insert anything really)
- “No one is going to listen to me”
- “I messed up last time”
These are coming from Dr. Ramirez Basco, yet I can identify to a T with a handful of those.
I recently finished a project that had me so stressed I was convinced that it was worth quitting and forfeiting the $500 project fee and 20+ hours of work because I just didn’t have the experience to tackle what needed to get done.
The reality was, I was feeding my self-doubt gasoline.
I had made the situation worse for myself.
So I put my big girl pants on, set my timer, and got to work. I vowed just to get it done.
And I did. And now the project is close to wrapping up and the heavy weight on my shoulders is slowly starting to dissipate.
The same can happen for you too as long as you’re willing to admit what’s really going on.
I doubted myself despite the loads of experience I actually had. Yes, I hit a few roadblocks that I’ve never seen before, but I eventually got through them. And I learned a few things along the way as you will too.
You just can’t get defeated. You have to pick yourself back up time and again. Keep fighting like your life depends on it.
Combating Tunnel Vision
Dr. Ramirez Basco also mentions that tunnel vision surfaces when we fear that we’re going to repeat our mistakes.
For me, I can totally relate to this situation in my business once again.
I had a slow October- January last year/the start of this year and I was deathly afraid of repeating it again.
For awhile, I procrastinated and feared that it was inevitable. I had accepted it and realized there was nothing I could do.
But after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, I realized how pathetic I sounded.
Of course I could fix things. I’m a freelancer! I just need to take those big girl pants and upgrade them to the hustler ones and get going.
Since I did, I’ve been booked solid.
I’m serious you guys. You attract what you put out into the universe.
When I felt down on myself for a previously slow year, I let if affect this year’s potential.
I was putting myself in a position to repeat my mistakes despite how scared I was of doing this exact situation. How stupid!!
I encourage you to see that tunnel vision happens more than we’d care to admit. And when it does, we have to snap back to reality and figure out what’s in our control.
Start working on the things you can actually change and forget the rest. As soon as you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see what the universe brings back.
How to Deal with Setbacks
Next newsflash: setbacks are inevitable. Repeat after me: setbacks are inevitable.
One more time, I swear: setbacks are inevitable.
The sooner you can accept that the better.
As I’ve mentioned before, this does not mean you run and hide under your covers. It’s just the opposite.
You have to learn how to deal with setbacks as they come. Again, focusing on what you can actually control is your first step.
Next, you have to realize that these setbacks are temporary. They will pass.
Third, you have all the tools you need to get through this. And if you don’t, get out there and find the help you need. Can you find a book with some answers? Or a friend you can confide in? If it’s really bad, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. It’s not a bad thing!
For a short period of time, I had a life coach and I’m currently saving as many pennies as I can to hire another one.
The reality is, we don’t learn the necessary coping, life, and finance skills in school. There are so many things that we’re just winging it with. And I’d argue not very well.
It’s okay to get the help you need. Something as simple as an accountability buddy can be enough! Find what works for you and stick with it.
This is a good spot for us to end today. That was a long one! I hope you’ve enjoyed it if you made it this far.
In our last post (Wednesday, November 16th) of this Combating Procrastination series, we’ll discuss :
- How we use procrastination in our relationships
- Why passive aggressiveness can be connected to procrastination
- How to stop being a people pleaser
- Combating the all-or-nothing work style
- How to stop being a perfectionist once and for all