Have you ever heard this saying?:
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
This one has resonated with me for a few years now and it’s mostly because it’s such a straightforward reminder.
At the root of anxiety, we’re really just worrying about potential “what if” situations that may or may not come true.
And many times, they don’t.
But yet we obsess over these endless possibilities to the point of making ourselves sick.
I know I was guilty of it.
By nature, I’m a worry wart.
My head quickly fills up floods itself with these possible “what if” scenarios any time new challenges and adventures come my way.
And what usually happens is that these thoughts can overwhelm you to the point of retreat — you get so scared that you convince yourself you don’t need to move forward.
You tell yourself it’s safer to stay put.
So you do.
And you end up in the same spot year after year wondering why you’re not making any progress.
While I’m not a psychologist or pretend to be, I can share what’s worked for me from experience in this situation. And that’s exactly what I’m doing in today’s guide.
I’ll show you my techniques for getting through anxious moments.
Are “What If’s” Running Your Life? Try Doing This
I’ve traveled as far as the Philippines and Hong Kong.
Made it all the way to Mexico and Colombia.
I’ve even climbed Machu Picchu.
Yet traveling still gives me so much anxiety. #TrueStory
Yes, I’ve been able to conquer my airplane nerves thanks to the 16+ hour flight to Hong Kong, but that doesn’t mean the rest of my anxious thoughts suddenly disappeared.
Every time I land in a new country, that’s when the anxiety hits.
The realization that I’m no longer home, and I’m pretty far from it — that’s scary.
So much so that if I’m not careful, it can easily lead to a panic attack…in a foreign country. Yeah, no thanks.
So how do I manage to survive these anxieties and the other ones that come up throughout the day?
How to Squash Anxiety Using Visualization (and Grounding)
I first came across these two concepts thanks to Lewis Howes, creator of the School of Greatness.
The technique is simple – whenever you feel anxious, instead of retreating away from the scary thoughts, you need to visualize yourself getting through it.
Let me explain using me as the guinea pig.
When I step foot in another country, my highly intuitive and highly sensitive nature is bombarded — literally overwhelmed.
I feel everyone’s emotions and absorb them as an empath.
It’s overwhelming and exhausting and it causes me to experience some major anxiety.
So here’s what I do.
First, I focus on my feet.
Not in a weird fetish-y way.
In a grounding way.
What I mean here is that you focus on how stable your body actually is, thanks to your feet and your strong legs.
So instead of worrying about what’s swirling around me (aka the chaos of the hustle and bustle of a new country), I focus my attention on my stability while breathing in and out.
Thanks to the ground, my feet are flat and they remind me that I’m fine.
But this only serves as a distraction that can help to start disrupting the thoughts.
It’s not going to help you move forward. After all, you don’t want to get stuck here.
That’s where visualization comes in.
Now you have to actually imagine yourself getting through whatever it is that’s going on.
And you need to think about it in vivid detail.
This is the point where those uneasy feelings start to surface.
But instead of running away as per usual, you imagine yourself facing the situation head on and instead you experience those uncomfy feelings in the present and you move past them.
You visualize yourself completing whatever it is, no matter how difficult it seems.
For me, with traveling, I had to remind myself I was fine and that I needed to envision it to prove to myself that it was true.
So I’d picture myself walking through the busy airports, adjusting to the new surroundings, and relaxing and putting myself at ease so I can enjoy the new culture instead of being too scared to move.
Visualization also works well on a daily basis too, not just for anxious moments.
I use it before I go to the gym — I imagine myself using specific machines, visualize my form, and usually imagine that it’s empty too 😉
I also use it to walk myself through my busy day — I see myself doing the tasks on my to-do list and I sit through the parts that stress me out until I can visualize completing them.
I also visualize myself getting through tough situations — meetings, presentations, you name it.
Keep in mind, your visualization is not going to turn out exactly how you imagined it, and that’s okay.
The point is to work out all the kinks — both good and bad — right then and there and to experience those uncomfortable feelings so you can realize that:
There’s Nothing on the Other Side of Fear
This is another phrase that I repeat often.
The deeper root in anxiety is usually fear-based.
I talked about fears in this guide but I didn’t mention this point.
If you want to start squashing anxieties, you have to realize that there’s nothing on the other side of fear.
Let’s use me again as an example.
Before I went to the gym, I overanalyzed every aspect about it.
I was so nervous.
I asked my boyfriend a million and one questions to the point that he was over it.
I didn’t realize how anxious it was making me until he pointed it out.
The only way I could get through it was to imagine myself going, with no troubles, and enjoying it.
I also had to prove to myself that there was nothing to worry about — there wasn’t anything hiding on the other side of fear.
There were no trap doors.
No one was going to laugh at me if I couldn’t figure out a machine.
Plus, I can usually think on my feet so if I felt uncomfortable, I can just walk away. No biggie.
And that’s the same kind of dialogue you need to come up with in these situations.
I also used this heavily while I traveled to Colombia recently.
On two occasions, we were on private beach islands that were only accessible by boat (btw, I’m not rich or fancy despite how that sounds).
One island only had 300 families living on it and the village was very poor.
After the 45 minute boat ride in, I started to panic about being so remote.
What if something happened?
What if we got injured?
I had to visualize that even if something bad happened, I would be fine.
While these islands were remote, these people have survived on them for hundreds of years — generations upon generations.
They were survivors.
Way more than I was.
And yeah, they probably didn’t have conventional medicine like I was used to, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t make it.
Your body (and mine) is amazing. It’s also made to survive.
The fact was, I had nothing to worry about and I was safe.
They were friendly, helpful, authentic people.
I was in good hands and I had to show myself that.
The only real threat was my overthinking mental thoughts.
Yes, I still had to be careful.
But I didn’t need to do it to the point of being so tense I couldn’t enjoy the experience.
So I did.
I relaxed.
And I basked in their village and the stories they shared with us.
It turned into a magical and unforgettable experience.
Had I been closed off, or I didn’t practice visualization to see that nothing was on the other side of my fear, I would have missed all of that.
And I feel the same way with the gym.
I made up all the excuses of why I didn’t need to join a gym because I could work out at home or outside yet I also made excuses of why those places weren’t right at times.
The truth was I was scared so I never fully committed.
I was scared to get my butt into the gym.
And now I look back and wonder what the hell I was so scared about.
I can almost bet that you’ll get to that point to if you use the techniques I talked about in today’s guide.
Here’s a quick recap and a take home formula for ya:
Grounding + Visualization + Realizing There’s Nothing on the Other Side of Fear
You should also focus on your breathing as you do all of this.
Just like with grounding, it can help center you and stabilize the situation.
When you are anxious, you are more likely to hold your breath instead of breathing deeply.
So as you practice these techniques, be sure to breathe in and out deeply and you’ll start to squash anxious thoughts and eventually you’ll come down to reality in no time.
Need more help on this topic? Feel free to email me at devan@behappynothangry.com