Finding Motivation When You Feel Stuck or Down in the Dumps

If you haven’t already noticed — which I’m sure you have — getting motivated to work towards your goals is tough.

Some days you’re fired up and ready to tackle your to-do list with lightning speed and others it’s a struggle just thinking about your goals.

The thing is, this happens to everyone.

We tend to think that athletes and high performers just wake up energized and ready to take on the world and the rest of us just don’t seem to have that same gift.

But that’s not exactly true.

Famous people who are at the top of their game struggle to show up each day just like us mere mortals do.

But they’ve learned how to overcome those times so that they can push through and reach incredible feats of success.

And the good news is that you can too once you have a better understanding about motivation, including how to find more of it and how to actually get going when it’s the last thing you want to do. And that’s exactly what I’m sharing in today’s guide.

But first, I want to let you in on a little secret:

The Secret About Finding Motivation

Have you ever felt like some people were just destined for greatness and no matter what you do, you’re just not one of them?

Of course, looking from the outside it can easily seem that way.

You see perfect social media feeds, entrepreneurs making millions on such simple ideas, and even Olympic athletes who just seem so much more talented than us normal folk.

Sure, in the case of athletes, there is a huge level of skill needed to get to that point. But what keeps them there and takes them to new career heights comes down to the day to day grind.

Not everyone can do that part. And that’s why so many don’t make it.

But even if you don’t want to reach that level of success, you can still reach your goals and feel good about yourself.

So how do you do that?

First, you have to understand that you don’t wake up with motivation.

I’m sure you’ve heard that some people love what they do so much that they just jump out of bed excited to get to work.

I do believe that all of us can reach that point but, even still, it’s not an everyday occurrence.

Instead, you’re more likely to find yourself stuck in the everyday mundane tasks with overflowing to-do lists and a packed schedule wondering how you’ll get through your day let alone make time to reach your goals.

We all face this difficulty, even the professionals who seem to have everything perfectly managed.

You’ve probably heard the saying that we all have the same 24 hours in a day and it’s up to you to make the most of it.

And that’s certainly true.

But the thing about motivation is that it doesn’t start flowing until you actually get it going.

I know that sounds confusing so hear me out.

People think that you get motivated first then you take action, but it’s actually the opposite that’s true.

First you have to muster up the strength to take action then you start to create a positive momentum that keeps you motivated to keep going. It doesn’t work the other way around.

So the next question is, how do you take that first step when all you want to do is cuddle up under the covers and stay on your couch binge watching your favorite shows?

Keep reading…

Since You Can’t Find Motivation, Here’s How You Can Create It

There’s five steps you can take to get those motivation juices flowing.

While I can’t call them “easy” by any means, I do know with certainty that if you tackle them you’ll feel an unstoppable motivation like never before.

And it will lead you to make progress, inch towards your goals, and accomplish things you never thought possible.

That all starts with:

Step 1: Don’t Let Excuses Get in Your Way

“There are a thousand excuses for failure but never a good reason.”

Have you ever heard that ^ quote before?

Excuses are the number one reason why most of us don’t reach our goals.

We make excuses to justify why we can’t do something, then we rationalize that those excuses are valid, and then another day goes by without making progress. And it snowballs into weeks, months, and years where we stay stuck in the same spot year after year.

Instead of getting to that point, you have to learn to make sacrifices in the short term to reach greater results long-term.

I learned these “secrets” in two books I’m about to share. One is No Excuses, by Brian Tracey — this is a book I re-read often — and the other is The School of Greatness, by Lewis Howes, which I’ve also read several times.

Both men have successfully made careers out of sharing their motivational knowledge and, for once, I can say these aren’t a waste of time.

I always find them so motivating and spot on.

That’s why I’m sharing some of my favorite tips from both of those books in this guide. 

What I learned from these books is: “Successful people make a habit of doing the things that unsuccessful people don’t like to do.”

Here’s what that means – Most of us don’t want to get up an hour early to work towards our goals. We also don’t want to spend an hour after a long day trying to make progress with no guarantees of success.

There’s not one person who finds joy in extending an already long day.

No one. And that’s the difference.

Those who actually want to reach their goals don’t let those pesky time excuses and not wanting to do something get in their way.

Sometimes you have to just put on your big girl or boy undies and squash those excuses and do the things you really don’t want to do knowing that eventually your hard work will pay off.

I promise that just five minutes in, you’ll start to change your mindset and you’ll feel motivated to keep going.

But you have to squash those excuses first and get moving before that can happen.

I’ll show you how to do that next but, before ending this section, here’s another quote from Brian’s book that I have to share:

Procrastination is not only the thief of time, it’s the thief of life.”

Step 2: Learn How to Stick to Your Word and Take Action

If it’s not excuses getting in your way, it’s the ability to adhere to your own word.

For some reason, most of us — including me — find it easier to stick to commitments to others but when it comes to ourselves, we constantly let ourselves slide — for the worst.

We say we’re going to do the things we know we need to do but when it comes time to, we just put it off for tomorrow and let ourselves off the hook.

Here’s what I mean – it’s far easier to show up to work and make it on time for appointments, for example, because other people are counting on us.

But when it’s just us counting on ourselves, it’s far easier to give ourselves a free pass not to do something.

Instead, you should switch your mentality:

“Be your word – do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re going to do it,” and stick with it.

Because when you don’t, you actually lower your own self-worth, as I touch on next.

How You’re Unknowingly Lowering Your Self-Esteem And What You Can Do to Fix It

In Brian Tracey’s book, No Excuses, he brings up a ton of great points:

“Self-discipline is the ability to do what you should, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

And this is a motto that we all need to live by, especially when we don’t feel like doing sh!t.

This self discipline is what separates us from those who are successful. But it’s something that we can work on.

Before we talk about that, I want to mention a few other important points from Tracey.

He goes on to say that there’s a direct relationship between self-esteem and self-discipline and I can totally see this and relate.

Here’s what he said:

  • The more you practice self control, the more you like and value yourself
  • The more you discipline yourself, the greater your sense of self respect and personal pride is
  • The more you practice self discipline, the better your self image

He goes on to say that you see yourself and think about yourself in a more positive way and that you feel happier and more powerful as a person when you practice self discipline.

Think about this for a second:

Imagine a time when you worked towards your goal — this could be exercising when you didn’t want to, meal prepping or cooking a healthy dish when all you wanted was to grab fast food, or any other step in the direction of your goal.

How did you feel afterwards?

Probably energized and glad you did it.

Now, think about this in reverse. You don’t exercise and instead run to get fast food.

After this, you’re left feeling like crap. 

You’re bummed you didn’t make progress and worse, you feel bad for taking another step back.

That’s because Tracey rightfully believes that there’s that direct relationship between self discipline and self esteem.

You have to discipline yourself to do what you should, when you should, even when you don’t feel like it. That’s how you increase your self-esteem.

And that’s not all.


Tracey also goes on to say that there’s also a direct relationship between self-esteem and persistence.

When you persist through obstacles or even just the feeling of not wanting to do what you should your self esteem also goes up.

When you force yourself to continue on, you build that self esteem and the feeling that you can accomplish anything.

That’s why the reverse — not doing what you should — makes you feel like crap.

So, to build your self-esteem up, you need to persist and do things when you don’t want to.

That means your next goal is to increase your persistence to take action and get sh!t done, especially when it’s the last thing you want to do.

Tracey recommends talking to yourself positively anytime you face an obstacle.

So, as he says, if you come across a setback, disaster, or temporary problem, consider this a “test” that you have to prove what you’re really made of.

Are you a quitter or someone who doesn’t give up?

Work towards being the latter.

Tracey also talks about how your ability to respond to these setbacks makes all of the difference in the world:

  1. When you refuse to feel sorry for yourself, you ditch that victim mentality that holds you back
  2. If you blame others or make excuses for why you can’t do something, you actually just become petty and small and your personal power diminishes

So the goal is to greet every setback, as Tracey says, with the words “I am responsible”.

Take back your power and get going towards taking that next step.

Tracey recommends figuring out what your next step is towards your goals and making sure you practice those skills and activities as often as possible to start creating those life-changing results.

This is another quote I love here:

“The elevator to success is out of order but the stairs are always open.”

If you want to be successful, you need to be willing to put in the work.

And if you don’t know what it takes to be successful, then your next step is to learn from the experts and put their advice into practice. 

It’s that last part that many get stuck on though.

You can’t freeze up in analysis paralysis — where you overload yourself in the education stage and never end up taking action past that. Instead, learn and start putting what you learned to work even if you’re worried about failing.

If that last part is where you get stuck, this next section should help.

How to Take Action When It’s the Last Thing You Feel Like Doing

On top of considering how your self esteem will be affected when you don’t take action, another approach is to think about the long-term consequences of what you do today.

A good way to think about this is drinking too much and getting a hangover the next day.

In the moment, you’re having fun, enjoying the night, and not thinking about the consequences to come — a nasty headache, poor sleep, and maybe nausea the next day.

This is how you should view not working towards your goals.

Instead of having fun in the moment, understand that today’s actions affect your future.

The more you can think about the long-term effects, the better your chances are of doing the right thing in the short term.

So the next time you go to drink, for example, you may drink less or add in more water so you don’t get that nasty hangover again.

Another great point I love here from Brian Tracey is that:

“Winners are willing to take action with no guarantee of success.”

I think this is one area we all get stuck on (I know I’m guilty of it).

Think about a new workout plan or eating strategy — it’s easy to give up because we don’t know 100% if it will work for us. So we half ass it and don’t get results and then we try another one with a half in half out mentality.

Brian Tracey goes on to say that winners know they’re going to face failure and disappointment on the path to success. And, despite this, they’re still willing to take action.

This is how you should think about working towards your goals.

Something else I talk about frequently on this site is creating momentum.

The only way to do that is to work towards your goals every single day. Even if it’s just five minutes — as long as you’re trying, you will make progress and develop momentum.

And it’s THIS momentum that gives you the motivation to keep going.

Tracey mentions that it motives, inspires, and energizes which is so true.

Not only that, he mentions that you’ll find it easier and easier to take steps forward once you create this momentum.

In no time, you’ll have the discipline to stick with it until you reach your goals.

So what happens if you still don’t believe you have what it takes to go forward?

Step 3: Overcome Obstacles and Move Past Your Fears

As Lewis Howes shares in his book, The School of Greatness, the biggest roadblock that we usually face is ourselves.

The hardest part of your journey may just be silencing your inner critic who constantly bombards you with negative thoughts, self doubt, and self loathing.

All of these sabotage your vision and any chance you have of trying to work towards your goals.

This safety mechanism is designed to keep you from falling off a cliff into a danger zone but, in everyday life, it holds us back.

It makes you feel like you shouldn’t take a step forward because if you do you might fail.

As I talked about earlier, you have to look at failure as inevitable. 

Another great way to look at failure, as Lewis points out, is that it’s feedback.

But it’s not the feedback that most of us think it is.

Many times we see failure as a sign that we’re not good enough or we’re not made to do something, when that’s not the case.

Rather, the failure just means we need to try again with a different approach until we get it right.

You have to keep working until you get there.

Lots of experts mention that you should fall in love with failing, which obviously sounds crazy but it’s true.

When you’re not scared of failing, you’re more likely to take action. 

Another message I love from Howes is that adversity in your life won’t go away until you adjust your perspective.

He says you have to embrace the message that failure is sending you, embrace the feedback, and apply it to your next attempt.

In no time, the failure melts away as he says.

Brian Tracey adds to this point by saying that the antidote to fear is discipline and purposeful action in the direction of your goals.

He goes on to mention that you develop courage when you discipline yourself.

The logic makes sense — if you’re so focused on moving forward, you won’t have time to cater to your fears.

To do this though, you have to let go of another big issue: focusing on the things you have no control over.

How many times has doing this kept you stuck?

It will bring you nothing but unhappiness, as Tracey points out.

You absolutely must focus on what you can control and only that. Doing so will help you overcome so much in life.

To add to this, you have to make a conscious effort to stop comparing yourself to others. You will always find someone who is doing things “better” than you.

But what you don’t see is how long it really took them to get there and what effort they had to put in to get to that point.

So, to this point, we have to stop comparing ourselves to someone else’s finish line. Instead, give yourself credit for starting to work towards your goals and for making progress each day.

And continue to put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable — eventually you will start to feel comfortable enough to stay there.

This happened to me going to the gym.

I enjoyed home workouts but needed to take my routine to the next level — I needed to go to the gym even though I was intimidated.

Now I couldn’t imagine not going to the gym. It’s like a playground or a sanctuary and I’m so glad it’s an option (I wrote this once some Covid restrictions were lifted and, unfortunately, since cases have gone up again, I’m back to home workouts).

To sum up this section, work on overcoming your mindset, don’t compare yourself to others, and just get moving.

No matter what obstacles you face, convince yourself you’re smart enough to get through them and figure out how to do just that. It will make all of the difference in the world.

From there, you have to:

Step 4: Break Bad Habits that Weigh You Down and Waste Your Time

Excuses and obstacles aren’t the only thing standing in your way when it comes to finding motivation.

Bad habits kill your goals just as fast.

That’s because they suck up so much of your free time without you even realizing it.

A great quote here from Brian Tracey is:

“The number one way to waste your talents is to allow bad habits to take over. The consequences of a life led by bad habits are inevitable.”

His other point here really stood out to me – your TV — and I would add your phone — have the power to make you rich or poor.

The more TV you watch, and the more time you spend on your phone, the chances are your energy and self-esteem are going to plummet.

It’s something I’m working on too.

The fact is that it’s so easy to log in to social media or YouTube on your phone and then the next thing you know it’s 4-7 hours of screen time logged throughout the whole day.

Binge watching shows is even easier than ever.

These things were designed to pull you in and they do a really good job of it.

It’s harder to quit them than it is to keep connected.

But I guarantee they’re not making you feel good.

Even if you spent your five minute mind breaks that you would on social media doing a five minute circuit, you’d be better off. 

And imagine if you gave up some TV to work on your goals.

I know it’s tough — they can be relaxing and help you destress. So I’m not saying give them up completely. Rather, try to find a better balance where they don’t consume every free second you have.

What bad habits can you let go of today in order to reach your goals?

Step 5: Build Momentum and Confidence by Taking Action Every Single Day Towards Your Goals

Finally, as mentioned before, once you tackle all of the steps before this one, you can finally start building that momentum that will propel you and motivate you to keep going even when it gets tough.

As Brian Tracey talks about – that momentum will help you build positive thoughts and feelings and it will start to grow your confidence — that’s more motivating than anything.

To do this, you have to start taking action even when you don’t feel like it or when you don’t feel good about yourself.

Instead of letting adversity get the best of you, power through.

He mentions that you should resolve to work on your goals everyday until you reach them.

If you hit a roadblock or an obstacle, don’t give up. Find another way and create an alternative plan.

Keep the focus on your goals and work on them every day — spend more of your mental and physical energy on them and you’ll find you have no problem inching towards your goals.

When you do this, you will become unstoppable because nothing will get in your way. Instead you will feel like you can’t do anything else but work towards your goal.

Start Working Towards Your Goals Today

If you’ve made it to this point in this guide, thank you! I know that was a long one but there were so many good points to include from both Brian and Lewis’ books.

Of course, I don’t expect you to memorize everything mentioned today.

Instead, save this article and tackle each section one step at a time.

This is where the whole analysis paralysis can creep in.

Don’t let the education portion make you feel as if you’ve done everything you need to get going.

The next step is to actually put this info to good use.

Take each section one at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed and you’ll be able to make progress in no time.

You can think of each section like your weekly focus and break it up like that so you actually have the exact game plan you need to get started and keep going.

I know you can do this!

And, if you get stuck along the way, feel free to reach out directly.

You can comment on this post or shoot me an email at  devan@behappynothangry.com.

You can also ask a question in my private Facebook group — I’d love to have you if you’re not already a member.

I promise to answer every email, comment, and question in that group which means you have a free coach ready and waiting at your fingertips.

I want to see you succeed and I would love to help you do that.

So if you’re feeling stuck, follow the tips in this guide or reach out — you got this!

Sending you motivation today and every day,

Devan

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